Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
