i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
