I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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