Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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