Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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