Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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