direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
