He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
