Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
