You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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