Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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