her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
