Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
