ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
