Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
