the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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