The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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