hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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