I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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