I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
