She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
