i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
