There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she smelled like a LAN party
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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