i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
