It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
