pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
