Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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