we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize