so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
