i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
