batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
