why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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