your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
