i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
