I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
