Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize