Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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