so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
