wakey wakey hands off snakey
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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