I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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