from now on my penis is your penis
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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