Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
soo... how was my night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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