Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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