Moan for me like Helen Keller
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
