I'm really into asian looking animals
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
