Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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