some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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