Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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