Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
