I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
