I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
