Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She's JV to your varsity
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
