The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
