i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
