Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
