Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize