So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
