why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
