Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
