I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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