i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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