& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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