I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
