she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
