Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
