based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
