So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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