Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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