Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
