you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
operation harelip BJ is a go
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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