We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
