Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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