I want to walk on stilts...naked
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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