I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
