Don't you send me to vm
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
