Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
