We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
